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Kso , right now i'm kinda pissed , frustrated and upset. Pissed cause people can't stop fucking talkin shit bout meh..and won't stop grilling like..honestly..grilling won't get you anywhere ! I can grill back atchu BITCH..! Like wtf don't you have anything better than grill at me..?! Like stop talking shit too , have you nothing else to do ? You have no fucking life bitch..But like , w.e go and hate. i made ye.
Frustrated because i don't know what to do about 'love' what ever that really is. I don't wanna like anyone right now, but you keep pulling me to you. I like you a lot , but i think i need to stop. It's just too hard.
Upset cause of all that shit ^.
idk , what to do..like FUCKMYLIFE, right nah.. :\

I have no clue why i can't stop thinking about you. If it's that cute smile or that funny ass laugh, you've got me on lock. The way you randomly look my way , whenever i turn around i see you sneak a peek at me. The way you act around me, the cute things you do. In my eyes , i don't see you as others do. Others see you as a big bully and a jackass , but i don't see it in you. I see beyond that, i don't even think your a mean person. But sometimes you get carried away, which i need to speak to you about.
I don't like looking at the bad side of someone's personality, i see the good in you. The sweet and caring side. If it's fake then tell me in my face that what you did the other day meant nothing , tell me the kiss didn't mean anything to you and i'll believe you. When you kissed me, you totally caught me off guard. I had no idea that you were going to do that, it made me smile. I can't stop thinking about that cute moment. Then that funny momeny after, my friend was fully spying on us when you kissed me. I didn't think you really liked me from what i've been hearing lately. Apparently you don't like me , but on the other hand it kinda seems like you do. Just to let you know , i like you a lot ... i try hiding it but it just keeps showing..i don't know what to do right now, i've never really been in this position xD K well , will see (: <3

Theres no one i can turn to anymore without being judged. Before not too long ago , i was able to tell people anything without getting hurt. Now'err days , everythings changed... No ones a true friend , i don't know who certain people are anymore. [b]WHO ARE YOU[/b] !? cause i definetly do not know , i thought you were better than this , thats for sure. So , i'll keep playing around with my lighter, staring at the light that will soon be gone. Knowing you'll eventually change me, just like how other people changed you. To become this [u][b]TOTAL BITCH[/b][/u] , the bitch that i never thought i'd see in you. Not saying that i'm perfect , pfft . i think i'm pretty bitchy , but like .. you might be taking this too far. :\ i don't know even know what to say anymore..i'll end this here and now. I'm Done..

Baaby you've got my head spinning and you've got me falling, for you. This is hard for me , since i always here waste about you. Which gives me a warning , but i don't know if they're lies or not. But i know for sure that perhaps i like you.. a lot. :\ which way should i turn , go for it ? or just bun it ? my heart won't speak yet my mind says just bun it. My mind knows i've been hurt many times and thinks your probably just joking around with my heart , but baby my heart thinks i should give this a shot. I shouldn't be afraid of getting hurt or meeting new people or i won't make mistakes , we learn from our mistakes. I've learned a lot , since i've made so many mistakes... will you be a mistake ? I would never regret loving you , but i would regret how far i fell for you. Baby you've got my heart running the race of winning your love , i think i'm in last place. You make me feel that you do like me, but at times..you stop. I never thought i would need anyone else but family and friends. Now i realize, we all need one love .. One day we'll all find that One person , are you that person ? NO DOUBTS , just keep walking . No looking back , theres no stopping. I'll be the only person you'll ever need, stay by your side even if you bleed. Care for you in times when needed , even if times i might just be fooled. I'll take that risk , i'll be a daredevil. Foolish decisions , wonder if your one. Lets just see , if you are.. then BUN , yee ! ; P

Robot

You expect alot from me, but i'm only human i can only do so much. I'm no robot , i have no super powers. I try really hard to impress you and make you proud, but it's never enough. You always seem to smile around others , but never around me. When it's just you and I , you frown like theres no tomorrow. I always try hard to improve in the things i do , but it's still not good enough for you to atleast say a simple "good job" . Would it hurt at all to atleast let me know your proud of me , for once. I'm still waiting for the day when you'll maybe say that you love me too. You promise me so many things , and you never keep them. I know life isn't easy , but couldn't you atleast try to only promise things your sure that you can keep ? I'm not a robot that can do whatever you say , i have feelings , i have needs , i have rights ... One thing i need most from you is Love , but you never show me that you love me though people say of course you do , doesn't seem like it. I'll stay waiting , like what i've been doing for a couple of years. So here i am , i am no Robot..

live every moment like your last,
God holds your life,
its his choice whether to take it away or to let you live,
i cherish every moment spent with you,
cause i know one day one of us will be gone,
but i know one day we will be together again.
baby please don't say you're giving up,
just hold on and stay strong,
stick with me and you'll be fine,
i'll be all you've ever needed<3

the only place where i can let my thoughts flow..
this stupid blogspot..
is the only place where i can write about how i really feel without judgment.
i can't trust anyone..anymore.
its so hard knowing they know secrets about me that they could spread like a virus..
why are people becoming such snakes..?
im not saying im perfect..
i just don't have anyone to turn to anymore..
its hard..

be mine

baby you've got me speechless,
you make my cheeks hurt from smiling,
the words you say touch me deeply,
i wish you were mine.

baby i hope deep inside you feel the same way as i,
i don't know for sure so i'll keep my mouth shut,
i'm not taking the risk of hearing you say no,
if what you tell me is the truth i think perhaps maybe you do.
i wish you were mine.

baby look above at the stars,
i spell our names together in a heart,
i promise to love you forever,
and thats a promise i will keep,
i wish you were mine.

baby look into my eyes and tell me you love me,
just like how i wish my love story was written,
hold me tight and never let go,
the arms i want to be held by forever,
i wish you were mine.

baby you stole my heart without me even noticing,
if only i had noticed earlier,
now you tell me you love me,
is it true or a lie,
be mine.

fml

i don't need this bullshit your giving me
step aside and watch me
get out of my face, watch me erase
all thats left of you!
bitch you dunno me enuff to say i love you
why did i ever fall for you anyways!?
how could i be so fucking foolish !
fuck i really hate you right now !
ur causing so much drama , ur sucha girl..
man up son...
step aside and turn around
watch me walk away.
then watch , you'll see..
why can't you just tell me whats bothering you.
if it includes me then maybe i should know ?
just fucking tell me so i can try fixing it !
ur sucha lazy ass..
fuck you !:@

idk..

I can't even trust you anymore, everything i tell you ends up being spread across the fucking world. Who are you !? Cause i don't think i know who the fuck you are anymore. If your going to say how i'm changing when your the one who is then leave me the fuck alone. I don't wanna have anything to do with you anymore. I'll miss you though, but since you've changed so DAMN MUCH , theres no point of me trying to stay close with you. I doubt you'll miss me, because you never need me anyways, only when theres something wrong. You used me through all these years. Theres only one month left, till i'm gone. Maybe then you'll be much happier eh ?? Well here goes nothing , i'm gunna do what i always do. Applologize. :\ i know it won't work, it never does.. cause you just wanna leave it be and it will heal on its own. If you noticed , i'm never mad at you .. your always mad at me. Yet i don't give up cause you mean alot to me, but now it's very obvious I don't mean alot to you... after all the things you've said to me about caring and loving me. Those were lies ? Oh wow , if those were lies.. you are the biggest liar i have ever met. right now , i don't need this bullshit. Cause i wanna make this last month last while... i'm not letting this get in my way , i'm still going to be nice to you because i love you and you mean alot to me and even if you reject it, i'm not going to stop. <3

goodluck

baby i know you 'love' me,
as you may say.
but baby if you wanna show me you do,
all you need to do is tell me..and mean it.
theres no need to add extra things,
things a girl wouldn't really want someone to do to them..
baby i know one day,
you'll meet someone way better than me.
don't take her for granted...
like what you did with me..
goodluck.

too many times do we take things for granted,
God holds your life...
thought i had all the time in the world,
i now realize i don't...
too caught up in my own life,
i never took the time to think about how you felt inside...
now your not here with my anymore,
i need you more than ever...
how could i be so foolish?
but i know one day,
we'll be together again...
wish that i could go back in time,
and maybe spend more time with you...
i'm sorry for everything i hadn't done,
i'll miss you...<3

medicine

your the only one i need,
the only one who keeps me going (:
the reason i smile at the begining of the day,
the reason i frown at the end..
" Parting is such sweet sorrow "
you make me happy,
even through the toughest times in life. <3
kinda like the feeling of your first kiss..
except that everyday he makes me feel like this /8/
my tylenol when im in pain <3>

Somewhere.

Somewhere ,
baby i know your out there.
just gimme a call ,
to let me know your doing okay.
i don't know of your name quite yet,
but something has to keep my heart beating.
And i know your the one,
the only person in the universe that knows me best.
One day you'll come along,
when we meet.
it may take a while to notice we're meant to be(:
but baby i know your the one for me(:♥

Forbidden Love.

Like Romeo and Juliet,
it is forbidden for me to love you.
i can't even explain the way i feel when i'm with you,
it's like nothing can go wrong...
no words can express the way i feel for you.
too bad its forbidden for me to love you.
but i know i'll never let anything stop me,
i'll always love you.
no matter what other people say or think.
i promise :)♥
ily

sorry..

when dreaming with a broken heart,
waking up is the hardest part...
i don't know what i did wrong,
tell me what i did to upset you,
i always try to,
make you happy with me,
it never works..
its never enough..
why am i the one person you always find so hard to forgive...
stab me in the heart,
it won't hurt as much as it hurts with your words...
losing you,
would change my life...
no one knows me like you do..
no one knows how much you mean to me..
they may say,
your only one person..
but to me..
you equal a million to one..
bottom line...
i'm sorry...
♥

cross my heart.

♥
i just wanna let you know,
i never wanna let you go,
for the rest of my life,
wanna be by your side...
Lord i know i ain`t perfect,
i`m sorry i failed you...
i promised to try harder,
just to please you...
peers don`t see the pain,
i hide with a smile...
my heart can`t take another break,
how could it break..
if it wasn't even whole to start with..?
my heart was starting to mend,
back when you were a more sweeter friend,
how could i let that part of you..
just slip away...
i envy those who are happy,
surrounding me,
making me wish i could smile for real,
i`m forced to fake a smile,
everyday of my life...
need to hide the pain,
kept inside..
secrets need to be unspoken,
my lips are sealed,
still smiling..
for you to see me,
happy.
but thise smile i wear,
is not true..
if you were to stay here with me,
i wonder how my like would be,
maybe for once ,
a true smile would appear..
but still holding back some tears..
i am nothing but an empty book,
waiting to be written,
waiting to be told,
after i am read...
waiting to be closed...
falling through an endless sky..
i love you with every bit of my heart,
that hasn't been broken,
words in the form of weapons..
so let me die by sword..
slice or dice me,
how ever you please..
as long as your swear,
never to forget..
i ..
love ..
you ..
..cross my heart.
♥

Quit

Do you honestly think I'll be here with you, forever?
Guess again...
Stop taking me for granted.
One day i'll be gone,
what will you do then?
You won't have a clue..
because you always think,
i'll be around.
you don't notice when i'm around
you come to me when you need help,
yet..what about me?
Everything i do,
i do..for you..
But have you done anything for me?
nope..not that i can remember..
When or if i leave..
you'll have no one to turn to..
coz i'm just someone you turn to when your down
i feel as if your using me..
coz during other times ?...
you don't even notice me..
to think you care about me as much as i care about you...
phaaaaawck naw !
boooooooooooooost...
lies.....
well guess what ..?
i don't care anymore..
solve your own stupid problems..alone
i give up...on you.
...
i quit.

time.

Things come and go, so do people.
Loosing someone isn't easy,
At first, when they're around you don't miss them or notice they're around,
But once they're gone or not your's anymore you realize how much they mean to you.
When they're gone, memories just jump out at you ,
& you flash back and see all the great times you had with this special person.
Now you regret pushing them away errytime they would try to talk to you,
Coz you know you'll never see them again.
Cherish erry momeny spent with them,
Even if they may be the stupidest moments..
Coz the stupidest moments are usually the ones you remember the most.
So live your life to the fullest, don't waste anymore time.
You never know when God could take away your life .
♥

Jan 1 , ohnine .

Brandnew year. This post is kinda late ,coz i was at a party yesturday..-.-"
one i didn't wanna go to... i was suppose to go to christina's..but my mom went all BITCHY on me, like wdf mehn... But errything was arrite the night before. New years eve , i was talking to a guy...who seemed really into me. (nota stalker) he was really sweet nd nice . :) iunno ,he makes me smile a lot.. i haven't been so happy in a long time till i started talking to him . :)
New years eve ,hangoverrrr ! Drank like 10 glasses of pina colada x ) had to stop coz my fwend told me too x) i think it was a good thing he did too .Coz i fell down the stairs like..2ice xP
(on my butt ) i fully slid down. Lol , live night..but messed up fam jam Jan o1 . : \ My cousins were like so loud nd shieet, after i ate i went to my cousins' room and fell asleep listening to my ipod. Then went downstairs to the basement and pwned erryone in halo :) i made a kid cry too
-.-" coz i kept snyping him and he couldn't see where i was shooting from :P so i jumped out on him and sworded him :) but oh well..after that..i just went back to sleep with my ipod xP
that night was wasted.. : \ coulda been at my fwend's jam mehn ! :( nd after, i coulda went online nd msged KB (fwend♥) . ;) ehh...wasted day to start a new year buh s'all good . wish i was somewhere else right now.. w/ KB ...♥ well thats it :).